When it comes to money—and really, to life—one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is, Why?
Years ago, during a leadership development day at the bank, I watched a TED Talk by Simon Sinek called Start With Why. His message was simple but profound: people and organizations are most inspired and effective when they operate from a clear sense of purpose—their “why”—before focusing on the how and the what.
That idea stuck with me. In fact, I even built it into the name of my financial coaching practice: DollarWhys—helping people find their reasons to change their money habits. Because if you want lasting change, you need to know your why.
The Bricklayer Story
Let me share one of my favorite illustrations.
A man walks past three bricklayers and asks each the same question:
“Why are you laying bricks?”
- The first replies: “It’s my job. I need to earn money to eat and survive.”
- The second says: “My father was a bricklayer, and my grandfather before him. I’m proud to carry on the family tradition.”
- The third smiles and says: “I’m building a school where boys and girls will gain wisdom and knowledge to serve, lead, and shape the world for generations to come.”
All three had a reason. But the third bricklayer’s “why” was so deep and inspiring that nothing could easily pull him away from his work.
Applying This to Your Marriage and Money
In my couples workshop, I ask: “Why do you want to work together on your finances?”
Some answers sound like the first bricklayer:
“Because we have to—bills need to be paid. It’s part of being adults.”
Others sound like the second:
“It’s what our parents did. We want to carry on that tradition.”
But then there are the “third bricklayer” couples:
“Because we’re building a future. We want our children and grandchildren to have opportunities, wisdom, and resources to serve and shape the world for generations to come.”
When you start with a deep “why,” working on your finances becomes more than just paying bills—it becomes a mission that unites you.
A Faith Perspective
As Catholics, we believe our ultimate purpose is to be with God in heaven. That belief should influence how we make financial decisions—not just the decisions themselves.
Think about Mass. If I asked three people why they attend Sunday Mass, I might hear:
- “Because I have to—it’s an obligation.”
- “Because my family has always gone to Mass.”
- “Because I meet Jesus there. I worship God, receive His grace, and am nourished to go out and serve.”
The third answer is anchored in a powerful why.
Digging Deeper—Seven “Whys”
Sometimes, to get to the heart of your purpose, you have to ask “Why?” seven times.
For example:
- Why are you budgeting? → Because it needs to be done.
- Why does it need to be done? → To track my spending.
- Why track my spending? → To stay within my means.
- Why stay within my means? → To save for other priorities.
- Why save for other priorities? → To achieve goals God has placed on my heart.
- Why achieve those goals? → To serve others and live my vocation.
By the seventh “why,” you’re at the core of your motivation.
Your Turn
What’s your bricklayer story?
Whether it’s about your finances, your health, your career, or your spiritual life—don’t just focus on what you’re doing or how you’re doing it. Start with why. When your reason runs deep, it fuels perseverance, unity, and joy.
So, take a moment this week. Ask yourself—and your spouse—“Why are we doing this?” Keep asking until you reach that powerful third-bricklayer answer.
If you’d like help discovering your financial why and building a plan around it, that’s exactly what we do at DollarWhys. Let’s work together to create a future that truly matters.
